Guess where am I?
I’m on an airplane, it’s different this time, I am able to do something else rather than falling deeply into sorrow, feeling fearless in my mind and the suffer in my body, being devastated and desperate.
There must be something wrong with my health, maybe it’s weak in keeping balance, when the environment change, it can’t adapt to it quickly enough so not let the nerves notice any change.
So long a time I long for somewhere far far away from the Internet, so I can get no aid from somebody online, but write my own mind, this is now,
There is turbulence just now, a little uncomfortable, not too strong to stop me from continuing my words.
I just had lunch, considering eating on the sky is unbelievable in previous time as I think I very likely vomit.
So hot in this capsule, why so? what is the air conditioner doing? I do feel a sense of cold wind from the back of my head.
When the plane is about to take off, I promised to myself that I love you mom, I will bring you happiness, I think it’s my legacy words.
Is this because I’m writing that I forget to be afraid and to sense the turbulence.
Mom is an amazing creature, they make their child feel ease and this light shed on me too.
There will be nothing I shall be fear to face even the horror movie since I’ve through the experience of almost losing of consciousness and vision and hearing and my icy hands.
At about 13:45, I was informed to stop using laptop prepare to land. Exciting!
Now I’m on the bus head home.
It’s 19:24, Tuesday, Jan 22. I am on the sky again, so grateful now, for the peaceful mind, for the ease mood, for not terrified anymore, for adapting to the change of motion state of this airplane, for the love.
Practice is a good way to let you embrace the new experience, it helps you overcome the barrier in mind.
The crew went through a strict training, working on this standard procedure line, I believe every single one own dignified spirit as they will do the very best when an emergency happened, it has been proven by the previous incidents.
Every time I think I could die, I wish my life could be known by ZQ, I hope she runs all kinds of my accounts ever after.
By the way, the plane is through violent turbulence now and I’m okay with it. The broadcast said that the airplane will continue to jolt, so while I’m typing these words, everything is shaking now. I made such big progress even though I am very likely to suffer from weightless again, anyway, it’s good and worth to celebrate.
This flight is the joltiest ever. 
Someone on Speaky told me after reading this post.
Life is difficult who feel all kinds of emotions to their very depths.
I’m the kind of person who feel intensely.
当一个人有自杀倾向时，其原本就异常低落、痛苦、迷茫的情绪会变得深刻而强烈，让ta产生结束生命是唯一出路的想法
I was on a trip by flight again, I was nervous as usual, try to feel relieved when I was waiting for the runway is ready, then I saw a plain taking off in front of my eye, it happened in a considerable short time, I see its gesture it was in a steep angle to get enough hight at a short time interval, okay, I guess if I was trained here for several ten times a day, I will get rid of that unreasonable nervous feeling easily.
I guess it’s like life, if you were serious about something, like the relationship between family members, or someone you care so much, you, me especially, couldn’t help talking too much as your attention was occupied on these things, then your mind stop evolving and you didn’t look inward of your heart, (Is this another evidence of me bing a person of 好大喜功?). you were too scared of something and you couldn’t addressing the problem in a wise way.
it’s like injected by a needle Thinking out the wise way is